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When it struck for the first time, I was not in my country. I was doing my exchange semester. Being someone who is always curious about things, my search on Google always starts with the news. I would be starting off to open the famous news' sites just to get a glimpse of what is happening in different corners of the world.
The giant country was on the headline of the newspaper. I just took it 'lightly' at first, what can be the worst? Internal problems always create temporary chaos with immediate short or long-term effects. The city with more than 11 million of population was almost everywhere.

Wuhan, China. 

When my eyes caught to a word - virus, all I could think was something similar to a bird flu. Oh, that's sad. Still okay, it is just in one city, hope the whole force can join together to fight for this and help out China. Saying that, I continued to read my assignment's guideline which was due 2 weeks later. Something felt just not right, but well, I did not know what. For the first time, I did not go deep into a news, or else I would be using different sources to read about the same news. You get me?
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Later, when the clock struck midnight, I went to the same news portal again. My second search was the location of Wuhan in China and anything related to it in particular in terms of activities, history and so on. Yeah, that's how I start off with. Later on, I encountered this word "corona virus", and I don't belong to a pure science background after the age of 16. Yet, I do like to read about the scientific stuff at times. I just don't stay under the same umbrella all the time. I keep on flying from one topic to another, which ever seems interesting or attractive. Oh my! When I begun my 'deep' research, the first thought that kicked in my mind was "What if the virus spread to other countries? Or maybe not" I just could not sleep till 6 in the morning. Sleepless night with different thoughts and possibilities trap kicking in.

Bingo! It happened. The Coronavirus spread to other countries through the airports mainly, of course, travelling activities. I don't know why, I still felt normal and relaxed. I mean, yeah fine, I don't feel anything yet. But as the virus kept on infecting people and the number grew to thousands, all around the world, I could almost feel as if the end is near. Literally. 

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Well, it was not common yet to see people wearing masks in Austria. I did not see anyone wearing any mask till February 2020. When I returned to my country, I could see basically every single person wearing mask. My beloved mother would be telling me the updates on the country, and telling me how serious this virus is actually. Things started to get rough, and the numbers kept increasing with no signs of vaccine for about 18 months the least. What started as an epidemic mainly limited to China has now become a truly global pandemic.  Over 5.5 million infected cases, and around 350 thousands of cases as of May 2020. It just seems like a movie, or as if I am still in a deep sleep and having a dream. A nightmare which I hope ends soon, for the well-being of the humans on this planet to feed their families.

~Till it shines back again
Art, just artI am addicted to the art that words can't just describeeee!

I just got addicted to the art back in 2019. My interest kept on blossoming when I was in Europe! I can literally be lost in art anytime. I can literally see the effort behind a single swatch of the brush, the emotions hidden in it, the purpose of the shades and the time invested. But most importantly, the feelings attached to every single piece of art. Colors just seem to excite me and make me lost in em. It is such a blessing and a curse at the same time to be able to 'understand' art. Well, I am not gifted with the hands that can hold a brush firm and let the ink pour itself on the paper. My hands still tremble, my heart still sinks and my eyes still lose its focus. Yeah, anxiety. Highly anxious, and I guess that is what made me fall in love with art. My thoughts do wander if I look at something artistic. I just appreciate the creativity that lies within it. The way a painter can actually think of, and the focus a person who sketches can maintain. It is just so amazing! Gosh!
When it comes to preferences, I love to explore the weird paintings.  The ones that have the whole galaxy in it, but yet the planets still crack. The ones with the richness of every color, yet so faded. the ones with a few words that are so deep as a hollow.

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It's just sometimes the web of thoughts strangling a person and making him grasp for air in a crowd. There are the times when you would even be labelled as a psycho for loving the weird art. People would be thinking you are having some kind of mental sickness, some kind of depression or so. Guess what? LET THEM BE! To all these artists, thank you for contributing in enriching my life purpose! The art is in almost every post of my blog! It is so just so relatable that sometimes when I am blogging my heart out, the art describes how I am actually feeling, or what actually is being a motivation factor to let my fingers push the keys on my laptop. It just keeps me going! I hope one fine day, I get the motivation to let my fingers create some kind of art as well, especially with the theme of a galaxy.

~Till it shines back again!
Watercolor | Galaxy art, Art, Art painting

It just doesn't start beautifully sometimes..
15 Trendy Drawing Ideas Tumblr Artsy #drawing | Planet drawing ...Now this does not always refer to a relationship, it may even be the first paragraph of your essay, or or the first attempt of drawing your eyeliner, or the first interview of your life. Anything! You might encounter the obstacles in any point of your life. Now there, you can't always give up here you see. Yeah your emotions would be pushing you, begging you to stop, your mind would be setting up its own tactic in letting you down. But here where the courage you been piling up comes. Your heart's capable of letting a flower grow and blossom! 

Life's just more than planting your heart in ground for people who don't even deserve a reason for it. Now, easier said than done. But as you age, your mind would start to topple in different paths. You'll understand , sooner or later. After all, you will just learn the strategy to win if you lose several times! Embrace yourself, dear heart. Keep that 'flower' alive. That is the least you can do. Just like the anger of the fire can shape the metal and the sorrow being held by a writer can turn into poetry, everything does not always start beautifully.

Locking yourself in a vessel will not bring any good for the present time. It might start off with an ache, with a typhoon hitting the walls of your heart, constantly beating the bones or tearing off the layers of your fragile emotions.

It's just those norms you got to be understanding. This is just how things work. Being the odd one among the shining stars is not a curse. You rule the planets of your life!

~Till it shines back again!

Tanya Shatseva, Surreal Acrylic Artist. Image via Tumblr.
Coming across things, I remembered I still have this blog where the words would move forward as my fingers dance on my laptop's keyboard. Well oh well, someone should start typing the heart out. Shall we?

I been missing this sweet spot to express my feelings, my weird random thoughts and sometimes to rant. My mind just wanders to different places, from one spot to another gathering the information and yet not storing efficiently. Yeah, jack of all trades, master of none. This idiom surely describes me tho. I tend to have this curiosity to explore things out of my horizon. My sphere has always been focused to some spots, so I tend to widen the sphere, just for the sake of curiosity. The satisfaction you get after having your curiosity answered is just something beyond the words can ever express.

I guess I should keep typing out more here, and perhaps read back where did this little girl stand a few years ago when she was 23, when she was 25, or when she was 27. How did my thinking revolved, where was the sweet spot of the maturity, and where did the roots of wisdom grow at. That would be something interesting, isn't it? Well, to start with, I was a happy-go-lucky extrovert. But now I am an ambivert as I age. I am not totally an introvert, but I surely love to have my me-time. Now you might be thinking a me-time is what everyone needs. Yet, not everyone isolate themselves at weird times, though. I have been so extrovert that I would be sharing everything on my mind with people, literally anyone! I would not be thinking twice if my words might hurt anyone else.But when I shut down, the hurricane just kicks in.

As I age, I started to remain the momentum of being friendly towards others. Hence that is why I am kind of 'known' by everyone around. I always have held my hollow mockery of believing keep doing good to others, and the good will come back to you. Turns to be to very true! Some even used to call me a walking encyclopedia. My image has always been a talkative girl who is damn friendly to others and would be helping out no matter what happens!

21 Tumblr Tips For Artists For Sharing Art / Paintings 2020I figured out how messy I can be at times, and some who are close to me might even feel that I am such a bad disaster. Just like a foggy night in a December's usual winter. Cold, blur, uncertain, sharp, and yet breezy. As I started to step into the phase of my own space, without any presence, or perhaps with a minimum presence of anyone, I knew myself more. I am not what I show to others or I claim to be! No matter how much I cover the painful words or sarcastic comments with a laugh, the tiny bit of needle still keeps pricking my the non-existing corners of my heart. My heart can ache as well, my emotions can peak into frustration or inexplicable sadness as well. Instead of turning sour towards that, I started to pick the good message from it. I started to keep the thoughts to myself, to have this determination of not letting anyone else feel what I feel, to keep doing good no matter how badly you are to be judged by the tiny humans on this huge planet.

So, keep walking in the breezy weather, let it storm, the skies would be clear again! The faith and courage would keep building up inside, and as the clock keeps ticking, you will finally have the joy!

~Till it shines back again!


I have always been blogging anything that I wish to remind myself or pour my feelings out in this blog. Random topics eventually cross my mind, while I'm trying to be kinda.. mature? Yeah, perhaps. Mature when necessary, tho. So, I was wondering about this simple thing that normally happens in our society. Like, misunderstanding.  You went through this once in your life, didn't you? Actually, countless times, it's either you never realized or you never want to realize. There's a big difference tho. 

Misunderstanding, honestly, this simple word can tear your world apart and you'll feel so hopeless, like you aren't able to do anything. Why you was not be able to solve a small issue? Misunderstanding starts off in seconds and the impact on your life can last forever, till you resolve the issue. Isn't it funny? How a misunderstanding in between two or more people can cause so much, till sometimes you just know that you can't afford it



It's not that you don't want to solve it out, it's just that, the situation itself becomes a barrier. The 'scariest' part of it is that it happens suddenly! Like, just imagine yeah. You dress up perfectly. Put your high heels on. Make-up like a professional make-up artist. Your world is like filled up with everything so beautiful, so fabulous, perfect enough. You have a perfect mood and everything seems so magical. You feel like, oh okay I'm gonna make this day one of my best day, one of the day that is filled with laughter, joy, happiness and fun! 

Thennnnnn .. Booooom! Every magical moments you just desired for,  disappear in a blink of an eye due to just a small misunderstanding, and even worse when you get misunderstood. When you are misunderstood for something, you feel bad, don't you? It hurts. What you can do is, decorate the best smile on your face and face it everything. Remember, do your best to explain the situation even though you don't have to, at least you'll be able to 'save' a relationship. 

Things will eventually get better. Insha Allah.